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Who you are today came from your past and that of those who came before you. If you want to understand who you are, knowing the stories of those closest to you can provide insights.
You can spit in a cup and learn loads of genetic information, but it’s the past stories that provide richer context and meaning.
Here we provide you with 60 questions to ask your parents to spark rich and rewarding conversation. To allow for a successful interview, we suggest you request a quiet time to ask and listen. We recommend recording their answers on paper and in an audio file, so you have a backup for later.
Timeline Worksheet Outline
The questions are divided roughly into “chapters of life”, from early childhood through adulthood. Use those questions that apply, toss those that don’t, and let answers lead you to other questions you’ll come up with as you go.
We’ve also included a free timeline worksheet you can use to fill in the major milestones as your parents respond. As an overview, the markers outlined on the worksheet include:
Early childhood
Describe your mother, her full name, when and where she was born. Please provide a list of descriptive words about her.
Describe your father, his full name, when and where he was born. Please provide a list of descriptive words about him.
List your siblings, names, dates of birth, and where and when they were born. Please provide descriptive words for each of them and their role in the family when you were young.
Describe your earliest memory. Why do you think it is so memorable?
Describe your primary childhood home. What key features did you like or dislike about that home?
Describe the community where you grew up.
What frightened you most as a child?
Describe the events and accomplishments of childhood that meant the most to you.
Describe a memorable meal of childhood.
Who were the significant people in your life beyond your parents and siblings?
Did you know your grandparents? Describe them.
What were the stories you heard as a child about your family’s heritage and background?
What activities, foods, and interests do you enjoy or dislike that came directly from your parents’ tastes or interests?
Describe family rituals you observed.
What was the faith background for your parents and other relatives?
Early Adulthood
When did you think you’d really “arrived” as an adult?
Who were your mentors? How did they influence you?
What did you study or pursue?
Did you live plan “A” in life, or have you lived several versions of plans?
Describe the first time you fell in love.
What did you believe as a young adult that remains true for you today?
What did you believe as a young adult that isn’t true for you today?
How did you feel about what you did to earn a living?
What assumptions did you have about life that changed as you got older?
Describe a time someone did or said something that made all the difference in the direction your life took.
Full-blown Adult
When did you fall in love with my mom/dad? What qualities did they possess that you admired?
Describe your wedding.
Describe your in-laws.
What traditions did you pass forward?
What traditions did you establish when you were raising a family that mattered most to you?
What did you initially assume about marriage?
How did your opinions about marriage change over time?
Tell the story of my birth.
Describe some of your favorite stories of raising me.
What lessons did you learn about parenting as you raised me?
Who were the family I knew when I was little who aren’t around today?
What lessons have you learned about relationships because of your marriage to mom/dad?
What would you have done if you could have worked at anything?
How does it feel to be older? Is it how you imagined it would be?
Describe the best of times.
Describe the worst of times.
What possessions do you treasure?
Tell the story of the most important thing you have in your space.
Who are your lifelong friends?
List your favorite movies.
List your favorite books.
List your favorite foods.
List your favorite music.
List your favorite places on the planet.
List places you’d like to go if you get the chance.
A Conversation You’ll Never Forget
Perhaps you’re fortunate to know many of the answers to the questions listed, but prepare to be surprised by what you learn. By honoring your parents enough to ask them to share their memories, you’re also giving yourself the gift of understanding who you a bit better.
From here, you can use the timeline you’ve created in the spreadsheet to dive into signature family photos. You can also use the questions and timeline to compare notes with other family members as well. Once you’ve opened the box on your family stories, you might find you want to learn even more, and photos are a great tool to help bring more memories to the surface.
When it comes to reading self-improvement books, I can’t read fast enough to keep up but if I listen to books it is so much easier. Audible. is the way I can enjoy more books than I could manage to read. Plus, you can take in a book while doing other things which just makes you feel super-efficient, or lounge and listen. check out Audible to learn and enjoy books today.
Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.
WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT OUR STORIED GIFTS SHOP
Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop Words of Encouragement where we offer items and thoughts meant to encourage you.
The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.
LET’S BE FRIENDS
Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We talk about the value of life story and the many ways to tell and preserve yours. We also welcome you to join our life journaling group.
